Nov 3 2011Wheeeeee!: Google's 'Do A Barrel Roll' Trick


Go to Google, type in 'do a barrel roll'. The page barrel rolls. This isn't rocket surgery, folks.

Google (this one should auto-roll for you)

Thanks to Tarkin, Boogie Jon and bb, who don't use Google for anything but reading the autofill responses when they're bored., that's some serious f***ing boredom.

Nov 3 2011Another Day, Another Volcanic Lightning Cloud


Dammit Sauron, I already told you -- the Ring has been destroyed!

This is a picture of Cordon del Caulle erupting in Chile. It's not the first time we've seen lightning in the ash clouds of volcanoes here on Geekologie, it's just the first one that looks like a tornado FROM HELL. Impressive, devil, but if you even think about dropping a house anywhere near me I'll jam that trident so far up your ass you're gonna have five horns.

Picture [yahoonews]

Thanks to Matt, who swears the guy next to him in an airport bathroom stall had this coming out of him. Oh good lordy.

Nov 3 2011Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit


This is a video of a kid's mom refusing to buy him more Pokemon cards at Toys R Us, and the kid losing his Pokemind in the middle of the store. At first I thought it was fake because why would you be film yourself talking at the checkout of a toy store, then I realized the kid had already started his downward spiral into hysteria BEFORE the film started rolling. Now I'm not saying if I were that kid's mother I'd have breasts I would've made him walk home, because that's how you get your kids abducted. No, I would have tied a rope around his waist and made him tow the car home. That way I could keep an eye on him. *tapping head* Always thinking, this one.

Hit the jump for the wrap it up public service announcement.

Continue Reading "Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit"

Nov 3 2011Guy Kills Wife After Smashing Star Wars Toys


"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

30-year old Rickie La-Douche La-Touche suffocated his wife with a pillow after she destroyed the Star Wars toy collection he'd been collecting since childhood. He's been sentenced to life and will undoubtedly get his ass turned out by a gang of Sith.

[He] told a court that his Thai wife Pornpilai Srisroy, 28, had damaged his precious Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker memorabilia.

He later suffocated her during a row and then ran sobbing to his mother who lived nearby.

La-Touche later told police his wife had smashed up his Star Wars collection as part of a campaign to "make his life hell". He also claimed he "flipped" when she threatened to leave him to go back to Thailand.

Not gonna lie, Rickie, that was NOT the way of a Jedi. That was a very Vader thing of you to do. Except for the running to your mom's house crying part, that...I don't even know what that was. *banging gavel* Ready my sail barge -- we're heading to the sarlacc pit.

Star Wars fan killed his wife after 'she smashed his toy collection' [mirror] (with a picture of his wife)
Convicted Star Wars Fan of the Day []

Thanks to Mark, who has never killed anybody over a toy collection but did slip rat poison in a roommate's cereal for flushing a toilet while he was in the shower. That -- that's okay.

Nov 3 2011Turn Brown Eyes Blue With Laser Surgery


I have brown eyes. And they're romantic as f***. Men and women have actually gotten lost in these peepers for days. Kidding, they're like gazing into two twin @$$holes. And now a California doctor claims he could turn them blue with a quick 20-second cosmetic laser surgery. *starts saving* Sike -- I like my eyes just the way they are: brown and so lazy sometimes one doesn't even open.

The laser energy removes the brown pigment, or melanin, from the top layer of the iris, and the blue eye colour emerges over the following two to three weeks.

However the procedure - which Dr Homer has developed over 10 years - is irreversible because the brown tissue cannot regenerate.

'They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,' he told

'A blue eye is not opaque, you can see deeply into it, while a brown eye is very opaque. I think there is something very meaningful about this idea of having open windows to the soul.'

No, Dr. Homer, there isn't anything meaningful about the "idea of having open windows to the soul." Besides, blue eyes aren't open windows anyway! Having your eyelids removed is.

Doctor claims he can turn brown eyes blue (but he can't change them back again) [dailymail]

Thanks to Robin and alex, who, like me, though this whole article was about b-holes at first.

Nov 3 2011Oh No You Di'int!: A Terrifying Spider-Bot


This is a robotic spider developed by the Fraunhofer Institute *adds to shit list* and designed to locate gas leaks *brap!* or provide recon in radiated areas unsafe for humans. Unsafe for humans?! There's nothing too unsafe for a human if you're paying enough. One time I saw a barefoot bum jump off a 5-gallon bucket onto a pile of broken bottles for less than the cost of a value meal. You think he wouldn't risk growing a peener out the side of his head for $50? You're crazy.

The 'bot is highly mobile and uses hydraulics for powering its legs. Each leg has a bellows system that forces fluid into the legs to make the robot scurry about.

The researchers think the robots will be relatively cheap to produce as well, making it easy to use in situations where the robot might not be able to return.

Oh man, I like this idea of putting robots in situations where they might not return. Hey spiderbot, go investigate that volcano -- tell us if you can swim across it. But seriously, WHY THE F*** DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A SPIDER?! There' just no good raisins. "You mean reasons?" No I mean raisins -- my ants on a log are just logs today.

Spider Robot is Creepy, But Helpful [technabob]

Thanks to Marco, who agrees there is NO WAY this thing needs to look like a damn spider.

Nov 3 2011WTF Did I Just Watch?: Jian Sword Dancing


Napolean Dynamite deleted scenes.

This is a video of a girl with a jian sword and her brother/lover from the same mother with a butterfly knife (plus sweet haircut!) "dancing" while their grandma sips a Budweiser and watches her grandchildren almost stab the butterball of a family dog. That's...pretty much all there is to say. Except -- EXCEPT -- is the girl single? The one with the shades.

Hit the jump for a minute and a half of Ninja Turtle tryouts.

Continue Reading "WTF Did I Just Watch?: Jian Sword Dancing"

Nov 3 201115 Movie Scenes Recreated With LEGO


Lights -- camera -- plastic!

This is series of photographs by 21-year old artist Alex Eylar who faithfully recreated scenes from 15 different movies using LEGO blocks and minifigs. Which movies? I'm not gonna tell you. Just kidding: Harry Potter, The Shining, James Bond, The King's Speech, The Social Network, Mission Impossible, A Clockwork Orange, Star Wars, The Godfather, The Exorcist, Inception, Pulp Fiction, Psycho, American Beauty and The Addams Family. *panting* Whew -- that was a mouthful. "Of wieners?" Gummi ones -- I went to a bachelorette party last night!

Hit the jump for the other fourteen.

Continue Reading "15 Movie Scenes Recreated With LEGO"

Nov 2 2011Hey Look, This Snake In Florida Ate A Deer


This is a 16-foot Burmese python found in the Florida everglades that had recently eaten an 80-pound deer before being discovered and killed by the good ol' boys in the picture. The Burmese python is a non-native (it's name was a hint!) invasive species in Florida originally established by pet owners releasing their too-large snakes into the wild. Now? Now they're out there eating Bambi. No word what the snake thought the deer tasted like, but my guess is like anything else: like something that didn't want to be eaten. I guarantee if you could ask food if it was cool with you eating it, 9 times out of 10 it would say no. The other 1 time out of 10 you'd be talking to magic mushrooms and they'd be talking in rainbows and practically begging you to eat them.

Hit the jump for a close up of the snake's Bambi bump and mangled-ass head.

Continue Reading "Hey Look, This Snake In Florida Ate A Deer"

Nov 2 2011Man Shoots Neighbor For Telepathic Threats


Seen here looking exactly like the kind of person you'd expect to shoot a neighbor after accusing them of telepathic threats, 53-year old batshit stupid Michael Selleneil stares down a police department camera for trying to steal his soul.

The suspect insisted to investigators that Pierce had been "telepathically threatening" himself and his wife...

Selleneit, has a "diminished mental capacity," according to Fox 13. Police say he believed Pierce was attempting to break into his trailer -- an allegation the suspect had lobbed at other neighbors before.

God, I can't imagine what Selleneit hadn't lobbed at his neighbors before. Because I probably would have moved out after feces. Also, was the neighbor he shot in a wheelchair? Because this idiot's is gonna have a hard time proving it was Professor Xavier if he wasn't.

Michael Selleneit, Utah Man, Shoots Neighbor For 'Telepathically Threatening' Him [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to Amber, who threatens neighbors at the top of her lungs like a normal person.