Lady Performs Song On Two Recorders, One In Each Nostril

January 22, 2020


This is a video of talented student musician Haruka performing Japanese idol group Smap's "Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana" ("The One and Only Flower in the World") with a recorder in each nostril, each playing a different melody. Now that is talent. I bet she can pat her head and rub her stomach at the same time too. AND walk and chew gum. Haruka credits three years on the swim team for her nose breathing skills. Me? I credit eight years on the swim team for my broad shoulders and confidence wearing a speedo. "Sure sure, but at the office?" Casual Fridays are casual Fridays.

Keep going for the video while I beg her to do ocarinas next.

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'Minibar' Guitar Effect Pedal Effects Are Based On The Conductivity, Opacity Of The Booze You Pour Inside

January 22, 2020


This is the ~$150 Rainger FX Minibar Liquid Analyzer effect pedal. Without any liquid inside it won't make any sound at all, but when you add booze (or any liquid really, including cough syrup, chocolate almond milk, or nail polish remover), the pedal's gain is affected by the liquid's conductivity, and sound equalization by its opacity. Pretty neat. Plus I suppose it could double as a tiny flask in a pinch. *drinks entire contents of effects pedal, guitar stops making sound* Sorry folks, technical difficulties -- show's over. "But this is just the sound check." *smashing guitar into amp* I SAID SHOW'S OVER, ROADIE.

Keep going for a view from a trade show demoing the pedals using Jägermeister, nail polish remover and Coca-Cola.

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My New Dessert Of Choice: Mountain Dew Cheesecake

January 22, 2020


These are two videos detailing how to make two different no-bake Mountain Dew cheesecakes. The first, from Tastemade, has a lemon and orange flavored base with a translucent green gelatin made with Mountain Dew on top. The second, from cooking vlogger James Lamprey, is actually made with a Mountain Dew flavored syrup mixed throughout the whole cake. I don't know about you, but I would happily eat either until my stools run green like the Chicago River on St. Patty's! "Don't they already?" Man, I remember when doctor/patient confidentiality meant something.

Keep going for the videos.

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A Negative Harmony Version Of Simon And Garfunkel's 'The Sound Of Silence' (Plus A Bunch Others)

January 22, 2020


This is a cover of Simon and Garfunkel's classic 'The Sound Of Silence', but with negative harmonies. What are negative harmonies? Let me Google that for the both of us:

"Negative harmony" is a term from the theorist Ernst Levy and his book A Theory of Harmony. Here's what's actually happening:

Let's say you're in C. The idea is that the "axis" of C is the perfect fifth C/G. So, when you have a G7, you're actually inverting it around this C/G axis. Or, put another way, the halfway point between C and G is right between E and E♭, so you're actually rotating it around that point.

Like the exact opposite of the first kiss we shared, that meant nothing to me. Inverting? Rotating? Whatever's going on, it made the song sound like a 90's indy rock cover. And you know how I feel about 90's indy rock covers. "Best songs to make love to." I stand by that. Or should I say, I lay by that. HIYO, I'm a stupid idiot.

Keep going for this negative harmony cover, as well as a variety of others for reference, including Toto's 'Africa', Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway To Heaven', Radiohead's 'Karma Police', the Pixies' 'Where Is My Mind', No Doubt's 'Don't Speak' (that one is fun), Oasis's 'Wonderwall', and Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'.

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Whoa: POV Footage Of Going Through A Twisted, Rotating Water Slide

January 22, 2020

This is some point of view footage (it's not all picture-in-picture btw) of the 4-person raft Aquaspinner rotating water slide at Aquapark Reda near Gdańsk, Poland. If you're an elephant, you may recall I posted a prototype of the slide back in 2017. I did not (thanks Jeremy for the heads up). Some more info while I look up vintage Crocodile Miles on eBay:

The Aquaspinner is Europe's first and world's second installation of the rotating SlideWheel by Wiegand Waterrides. Riders embark upon this attraction in four-person rafts. The slide will continue to spin and as soon as the wheel is in the correct position, a conveyor belt is pushing the round-raft into the ride. During the ride, the riders tilt from one side to another multiple times before they exit the wheel on the opposite side after about 90 seconds. Afterwards, an ordinary tube slide with some colorful daylight effects is leading into the runout pool. Due to the rotation, the experience is completely different from any other water slide in the world and the video does not really do justice.

Would you ride it? I'd ride it. Would you try to get frisky with your partner while you're in the tube? I know I would. "What about the other two people in the raft?" Your call -- you want to ignore them or ask if they wanna join in? "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was your partner in this situation." Oh you *closes eyes to reveal your initials tattooed on my eyelids* you're my partner in every situation.

Keep going for the video while I steer clear of all the poop in the wave pool.

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Best In Showboating: Dog Does Donuts In Boat While Owner Goes Swimming

January 22, 2020

In ruh-roh news, this is a video from a motorist in Emerald Isle, North Carolina, of a dog who started doing donuts in a boat while its owner went swimming. Apparently the boat didn't stop for over twenty minutes while the owner just waited in the water. Personally, I would have just swum right up and hopped into that boat no problem, timing my angle of approach perfectly to dodge the dangerous, spinning propeller. Of course that's just me and I have a completely unrealistic concept of my capabilities.

Keep going for the video. SPOILER: 20 more seconds of the same.

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Finally, A Baby Yoda, Mike Wazowski, Shrek, And Kermit The Frog Head And Body Matrix

January 22, 2020


Because sometimes the internet feels the need to remind us what it was made for, this is a head and body matrix featuring Baby Yoda, Mike Wazowski, Shrek, and Kermit The Frog. Who's your favorite? I think mine might be Mike The Frog. Like the things my roommate says in his sleep, some of them are just terrifying. And that Baby Yoda headed Shrek -- I've got the feeling that's what real aliens look like. I've also got the feeling that last fart was more than it let on. Now if you'll excuse me *side-stepping to bathroom with my backup khakis* "Wear underwear." I'M AN ADULT.

Thanks to OL, who agrees pretty much anybody with Kermit's body except Kermit is terrifying.

Home Video Footage Of A $3,000 Computer Unboxing In 1995

January 22, 2020

This is a video from Youtuber Gilbert Arciniega of his predominately shirtless brother unboxing a ~$3,000 Compaq Presario CDS back in 1995. Like so many 1990's computers, it appears to be used almost entirely for playing solitaire. Some more info while I scratch my head and find it hard to believe 1995 even existed. It feels like it was a quarter century ago. Wait -- is this a scab? Am I bleeding?:

This is a computer my brother decided to buy back in 1995. As he had always wanted one. VERY EXPENSIVE back in this day! He went to Good Guys to buy it. I think it had 75 mhz and 8 mb ram. And a CD rom drive. I do remember he said he paid about $250 for the printer! And $500 for the monitor.

According to the inflation calculator, $3,000 in 1995 is like $5,060 in 2020. That'll buy a pretty hefty computer. I mean I assume, I haven't bought a new computer in quite some time. I'm *patting box* still using this old thing. What brand is this anyways? "It says Royal Typewriter Company." Hey -- how do I connect to the nudie pics I hear the kids on the bus talking about?

Keep going for the video, which includes some bubble wrap popping at 5:20, solitaire playing and encyclopedia browsing around 6:15, a seriously bitchin' stereo system at 9:55, and some daytime talk show action at 11:50.

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