This is an informative video created by the American Museum Of Natural History detailing 7-million years of human evolution, based on the fossil records found in present-day Africa. I actually learned several things watching it. Still, it's crazy to think that even after 7-million years of evolution that none of my friends can start a fire or make a decent weapon out of sticks and rocks. "Um, GW? Aren't all your friends dogs and cats?" Your words hurt me. And for the record, I did have a dog who once turned the stovetop on and set a dress on fire. "Why was there a dress on the stove?" Let's just say It was the first time my girlfriend ever tasted my famous scallop, pea and spaghetti arrabbiata -- need I say more? "Yes." And I spilled the sauce all over her, are you happy now?!
Keep going for the video, unless learning hurts your brain.
This is a video edited by Mylo The Cat (previously) to make the characters in the old DC Super Friends cartoon perform Wu-Tang Clan's 'Triumph'. Obviously, it was a real delight to watch all these superheroes rapping Wu-Tang lyrics. I actually just made my two young nephews watch it, and I could tell they were learning. There's just so much important information to absorb, if I could go back in time and focus on listening to Wu-Tang instead of going to high school or college I 100% would and I'd probably be a rocket right now. "You mean a rocket scientist?" Just a rocket, anybody can be a scientist.
Because winning even an amateur ugly Christmas sweater contest now requires going the extra mile (I remember when you could just show up with a spraypainted chest and at least stand a chance of placing), this is the $150 'Ugly Sweater' colorway of Levitate 2 running shoes from Brooks. "They look like Santa took a dump." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. "What do you think?" I'd rather the seat be up every time I try to sit on a toilet than wear those shoes. "Jesus." Just kidding I love them.
These are a bunch of examples of the Pizza Socks designed by Warsaw, Poland based Meg Cyprian and sold through her Etsy store. The pizza socks come in six flavors: Italian, Hawaiian, capriciosa, pepperoni, vegetarian and plain bubbly dough, and are sold as whole pies (3 pairs of topping socks plus one pair of dough, $30) or by the slice (single pair, $12). Plus they're arranged to look like an actual pizza and come in a pizza box! And you know how I feel about pizza boxes. "You always keep a few empty ones scattered around your apartment for ambiance." My girlfriend hates it and think they attract bugs, but I think she's really worried they might attract a potential rival. "You really think that pig sty of yours is going to attract another woman?" Stranger things have happened! "They really haven't." True, come over. "Didn't the last person get tetanus?" It was rabies, and no.
This is a video of Youtuber On Yer Bike (who's clearly in a car) getting frustrated with a man who jumps in line at an automated carwash without buying a ticket first. The man (who may or may not have known you had to buy a ticket first) then exits his vehicle to go buy a ticket, leaving On Yer Bike and another driver (who I assume On Yer Bike was with based on the way they were waiting for him) stuck behind him. That's pretty rude. Even if you don't know the proper carwash protocol at this particular location, you admit you screwed up, then exit the line to go buy a ticket. Not this turd! Thankfully, On Yer Bike is clearly no stranger to getting On Yer Ass either, and proceeds to back his vehicle into the car wash to get ahead of the man. Me? I would have taken the high road and broke all his windows, slashed every tire (including the spare), then gone back to jail.
This is the Knocked Upside Down Artificial Christmas Tree from Treetopia. The ~$220 tree stands 7-feet tall with a max diameter of 50-inches at the top, and includes over 500 pre-installed white lights. I just wish I'd read the installation instructions first because apparently it sits on a base and I didn't have to drill all those holes in the ceiling. Hopefully somebody gets a sex swing for Christmas! So are these upside-down trees all the rage this year or what? I have no clue, I don't participate in rages. Ragers, absolutely, just point me to the keg and I'll get this holiday party started.
Thanks to Jeffrey S, who agrees the best Christmas trees are the ones that come with free pets like spiders and bugs!
This is a video news report (including Nest security cam footage) about an Austin, Texas man who, after seeing a home's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation light display, mistook the dummy of Clark Griswold hanging from one of the house's gutters for a real person, and tried to rescue him. He called out to the man, moved the ladder closer to him, and eventually called 911. I don't know about you, but I applaud this man's efforts. Better to act than not and regret it. The two news anchors just laugh about it though, clearly outing themselves as two of the last people you want driving by in the event you're actually hanging from your roof.
Keep going for the video while I teach these two a lesson in journalistic integrity and professionalism.
This is a video created in Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator of 3,000 t-rex battling 20,000 Jedi wielding an absolute Skittles rainbow of lightsaber colors. Who wins? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: After almost 24 minutes the t-rex prove victorious, leading at least one blogger to speculate those weren't real Jedi. I mean anybody can wield a lightsaber, but I didn't see any actual Force use at all during the battle. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Those poor cosplayers never stood a chance." Be careful what you sign up for at conventions.