Capcom Selling $22,000 Solid Gold Mega Man To Celebrate Franchise's 30th Anniversary

September 21, 2018

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Capcom has announced the release of 5-inch, 3.2-ounce, solid 24-carat gold Mega Man (Rockman) statues to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the franchise. They cost $22,000. You rich but not that rich? They're also selling a 2.3-inch, 0.7-ounce version for $6,300. Obviously, with the price of gold hovering right around $1,200 an ounce, it would be significantly cheaper to make your own. And significantly cheaper than that to not even want a solid gold Mega Man statue. But we can't always help what we want, which is why I want you to take this knife and cut one of my kidneys out. "There's already a huge scar back here." Damn, I forgot I bought that solid gold Godzilla statue. Okay just take the other one.

Keep going for a few more shots.

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Aliens Are Among Us: Gulper Eel Displays Its Giant Gaping Maw

September 21, 2018

This is a video of a rarely seen deep-sea gulper eel (aka pelican eel, clearly a water type of Pokemon) going through its defensive protocol after being approached by an unmanned submersible. It starts with a classic barrel roll, then blows its balloon head up until its huge and does some shakes before finally unhinging its giant gaping jaws towards the threat. I don't know about you, but that would definitely send me swimming in the opposite direction -- I don't care if the thing is only two feet long. I've bolted from far less terrifying fish in the past. "He ran straight through a glass door at Red Lobster." Thanks for that, honey.

Keep going for the whole video, complete with delightful scientist commentary.

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A Very Cleverly Designed Glockenspiel Playing LEGO Automaton

September 21, 2018

This is a video demonstration of the very impressive little automaton created by LEGO builder Daniele Benedettelli. LEGO Ludwig van Beethoven performs a song on the five key glockenspiel whenever his crank is turned or motor engaged. As you can see, its movement is entirely 'programmed' on the little train that passes by in the form of block pieces with varying depth (detail shown in the second half of the video). Now that is a clever design. Maybe not as clever as my latest LEGO design, but I've been petitioning for LEGO to make me Master Builder for years. "We're not releasing a series of erotic playsets." Customers demand it!

Keep going for the video.

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Bob Ross Toaster (Allegedly) Burns A Smiling Bob Ross Face Onto Your Bread

September 20, 2018

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This is the $40 Bob Ross Toaster from Uncanny Brands. It's supposed to burn Bob Ross's iconic smiling face onto your toast, but based on the real-life results (included after the jump), he looks more like a coffee stain. The details of his face are just way too fine to expect them to translate to bread. *shrug* Oh well, at least the sticker from the side of the toaster will look cool on my Trapper Keeper.

Keep going for some not very happy little toasts and a video.

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Tow Truck Driver Tries To Drive Brakeless Jeep Onto Bed, Underestimates Importance Of Brakes

September 20, 2018

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This is a video of a tow truck driver who was called to tow a totaled Jeep (with a back wheel that's barely attached and without brakes -- or "brakes that are probably really shitty" as the guy in the video warns), but couldn't get his truck to the Jeep so decides to drive the Jeep to it. He actually does manage to get the Jeep onto the back of the truck very briefly before it rolls back down the ramp, flips over a ledge losing its already sad wheel, and knocks a natural gas meter off, causing "a large amount of natural gas to leak out." All in all, I say a job well done by my standards.

Keep going for the video of me in every business meeting I've ever attended.

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Finally: A Guy Tries To Drive Under A Spray Tractor, Fails

September 20, 2018

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Note: Some brief language.

Because driving under those crop-dusting spray tractors is apparently all the rage these days, this is the inevitable video of a kid who tried and failed. I only wish there was video of the actual crash so I could know it was real in my heart of hearts. I want it to be so bad, but why wouldn't he film going under? I demand a redo, you just need to go way faster so the suspension sits lower. Trust me, I'll send you a GoPro and some fuzzy dice.

Keep going for the video.

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South Korean Taekwondo Team's Amazing Demonstration

September 20, 2018

This is a video of a South Korean taekwondo team showing off their stuff. And show off their stuff they do! I'll tell you one thing -- I wouldn't want to run into this crew in a dark alley at night, especially if I'm a little wooden board, which I honestly might be (my parents keep changing my origin story up on me).

Keep going for the video, but all the good stuff ends around 2:00.

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Okaaaay: The Ostrich Pillow Hood 'For Focus And Comfort'

September 20, 2018

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Focus, Michael, this is Fornite. Don't let the popcorn get to you!

From the uncritically acclaimed makers of the original Ostrich Pillow comes this Kickstarter for the Ostrichpillow Hood, which is basically a hoodie without the ie. The $30 hood "is a shape-shifting cocoon that allows you to create your own space for wellbeing, improving focus and concentration, providing temporary disconnection or enabling casual freestyle." It's a hood. And the shapeshifting they're referring to is that it can also be worn backwards to block out light or confuse coworkers. My eyes are back here, Greg! But I'm not here to judge, because there have been times when I've wished I had a hood but didn't want the bulky, long sleeves of a hoodie. And you know what I did? "Cut the sleeves off a hoodie?" What? Oh! *quickly cancels Ostrichpillow Hood order* Yes, exactly.

Keep going for a couple more shots and their Kickstarter video.

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