Good Boy!: A Dog That Pretends To Be A Motorcycle

August 16, 2018

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This is a video of motocross rider Greg Vannorden's family husky Brodie demonstrating his ability to transform into a motorcycle when Greg straddles him and pretends to start his engine. That's definitely worth a treat. A soft one too, something meaty and easy on the gums. In Greg's own words:

Brodie the husky used to follow me around on my motocross bike so I figured he picked this up from that so I tried to start him up one day and ever since then he does this impression.

That's cute. You know what I wish my dog would pretend to be? A person, so she can go get a job and help me pay the bills. I don't think she's ever paid a bill, and she definitely didn't get me anything for my birthday this year. Yeah I'm looking at you, Margaret! *woof!* No, this is my sandwich, your food is in your bowl. *woof!* Oh no, we're not swapping food again, we did it last night and I still have crunchies stuck between my teeth. *woof!* Just take it already.

Keep going for the video. Also here's a shot of Margaret before and after a haircut for a visual on what I'm dealing with.

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A Tattoo Artist Who Meticulously Inks ASCII Art Portraits

August 16, 2018

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Note: Worthwhile larger version of the image above HERE.

This is a video highlighting the work of tattoo artist Andres Vrontis, who specializes in generating ASCII art portraits (art made entirely out of traditional computer characters), and painstakingly copying the images to people's bodies (with the help of tattoo transfer paper). Pretty neat, right? Would you get one? I'd get one. Ask me where I'd get it. "Where would you get it, GW?" At the tattoo parlor! "Good one." Seriously though these prison tats just don't last. *pulling down pants in back* Can you even tell what this is supposed to be anymore? "It looks like a bushel of dingleberries." Haha -- a straight shooter, I like it. "You don't actually have a tattoo, do you?" No I do not, just a custodian on this floor who doesn't like to do his job.

Keep going for Dali and Hepburn closeups, and the video.

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Snorkeler Captures Stunning Footage Of A Humpback Whale Curiously Swimming Around Him

August 16, 2018

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This is a video captured by snorkeler Adam Stern off the coast of Nuku'alofa, Tonga of a curious female humpback whale that swam around his diving group for a half hour (don't worry, video is a minute and 22 seconds), performing all sorts of barrel rolls and other beautiful acrobatics. You know, sometimes it's easy to forget just how many amazing creatures Mother Nature has invented because you never leave your apartment because you're terrified of bringing home some of her less desirable creations like butt spiders. "You mean bed bugs?" I wish I did. "Just how long have you been holed up in that apartment, GW?" It's been a while. "When was the last time you saw a bird?" Are you messing with me? I assumed they all went extinct years ago.

Keep going for the video for ULTRA MAJESTICNESS.

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Just An Idiot Performing A Superman On His Motorbike Down A San Antonio Highway

August 16, 2018

This is a video from San Antonio, Texas where a motorist spotted some idiot Superman-ing down the highway on his motorbike. Is that him humping the bike or is he about to lose control and wipe out? I like how cars are honking at him (but Jesus, keep your distance). What could possibly motivate a person to do this? And, even more importantly, what could possibly motivate a person to not do this anymore? "A spike strip." I like the way you think.

Keep going for the video.

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Open-Air Urinal On Bridge Overlooking Seine River In Paris Draws Criticism

August 16, 2018

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This is a video news report about one of the eco-friendly (no flush) open-air urinals recently installed in Paris that are drawing criticism. This pisser is particularly distasteful to some residents though because of its location on a bridge overlooking the Seine, where tourist boats are passing by some guy presumably whistling "La Vie en rose" with his dingaling out.

some residents have complained that the bright red boxes are a blight on the picturesque streets of the city.


Others say there is something more than a little distasteful about encouraging men to urinate right on the street, even if it's into a box...

"It's a little bit in the open, some people might be uncomfortable," he said as several boats packed with tourists floated past along the Seine...

Local resident Francoise said she was "outraged" by its presence, describing it as "really not very attractive".

First of all, I will never be able to understand somebody's ability to pee so out in the open. I can barely pee in a public restroom if there's anybody else in there at all, I don't care if they're four urinals over. Peeing outside with people walking by? I haven't made eye contact with someone while I'm peeing since jail. Just forget about it. And I've only peed outside in the bushes a single time in my life, and that was on the White House lawn, but only to prove to the Maser Splinter I was ninja enough to join the crew.

Keep going for the video report.

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Cool Video Game Inspired Door That Opens Geometrically

August 16, 2018

This is a video of logistics professional Warwick Turvey demonstrating the video game inspired shed door he built that "folds open and close in a precise geometric manner." Admittedly, that's a pretty sweet door (and very reminiscent of the door created by Austrian designer Klemens Torggler back in 2013, see second video), but it looks like it also increased your chances of mashing a finger in it, and I already have enough problems with regular doors. And don't even get me started on sliding doors. One time I crushed my entire hand in the sliding door of my parents' van. "One time?" Every time. Eventually my parents just started leaving me at home when they took my brother and sister to school in the morning.

Keep going for the video in case gifs aren't your thing.

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Man Tries To Run Through Parking Gate, Gets Clotheslined

August 16, 2018

This is a video from Darwin, Australia (appropriate) of a man who's managed to cheat death for entirely too long attempting to run through an automated parking gate, and clotheslining himself. It's crazy to think that an equally stupid but more dangerous stunt didn't send this man to an early grave (but not really that early for someone who likes to do dumb shit like this) years ago. Fingers crossed he accepts the invitation to perform in my next Neighborhood Stunt Spectacular. "As a stunt car driver?" As a ramp.

Keep going for the whole video which includes plenty of bro contemplating how he just got owned by a parking gate while the security cam gets a nice long look at his face.

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Get It!: Dog Tries To Eat Pizza On Television Commercial

August 16, 2018

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This is a short video of Pó D'Arroz the Weimaraner trying to lick the pepperoni and cheese off a pizza featured in a Pizza Hut commercial. I think we've all been there after a late night out. According to Pó D'Arroz's owner:

Pressed pause while the ads were on... came back to this

Obviously, there's some speculation the video is fake and something was smeared on the television because some people refuse to believe anything on the internet is real. The only thing I found fishy about the video is this: who goes to make a sandwich in the middle of a pizza commercial? You pick up your phone and you order that $5.99 each for 2 medium 2-toppings pizza deal. That said, I 100% believe the video is genuine because I have a dog who tries to eat everything, food or not. She'll lick the floor where things were dropped long after they're gone, and other places where nothing was ever dropped. I guarantee if I video-chatted Margaret right now she'd still be in the kitchen trying to lick the ghost of a pizza crust from my Super Bowl party.

Keep going for two versions of the video in case one doesn't work. Also, I like how at the end the little wiener dog who doesn't have the height to reach the television wants to smell the other dog's breath to see what he's missing.

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