This is a five minute sweded version of the original Alien movie, with virtually its entire budget dedicated to cardboard, and all that cardboard being free. I loved every second of it. There's also a three minute cardboard Jurassic Park remake, which-- "Let me guess -- is more than enough time to pleasure yourself?" Haha, do cardboard boners get soggy in the rain?
Keep going for all the best parts of the movie in five minutes.
Thanks to Jacques, who agrees there should be a five-minute sweded cardboard version of every movie.