Sounds Right: Two Drunk Arkansas Men Arrested After Taking Turns Shooting Each Other Wearing Bulletproof Vest

May 6, 2020


50-year old Charles Eugene Ferris and 36-year old Christopher Hicks of Arkansas were apparently arrested last year after getting good and drunk and taking turns shooting each other while wearing a bulletproof vest. Now that -- that just sounds like a fun-filled Saturday afternoon to me. The details (including shitty coverup story!) while I start pricing body armor on eBay:

According to the affidavit, a deputy with the Benton County Sheriff's Office first interviewed Ferris after he was admitted to hospital late Sunday night. The man reportedly had a red spot on his upper chest but tried to concoct an elaborate cover story for the injury, police said.

As reported by 5News (KFSM-TV), Ferris claimed an "asset" had paid him $200 for protection. He said the pair met another man at around 10 p.m. and ended up in a gunfight.

The 50-year-old told the deputy he was hit multiple times but returned shots and fled in a car. He said he was taken to the hospital by the so-called asset. Later, he admitted making up the tale in an attempt to protect his friend, the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported.

According to the affidavit, he confirmed they were drinking and playing with a bullet-resistant vest. After asking Hicks to shoot him, he was hit in the chest with a .22 caliber semi-automatic rifle, leaving the mark.

Local media outlet KARK-TV reported Ferris asserted that he had been left "pissed" about the injury and then "unloaded the clip" into Hicks, who by this stage was wearing the vest. The friend was struck five times in the back. Luckily none of the bullets pierced the material.

"Luckily none of the bullets pierced the material?" We're talking about only for Hicks, right? Like not for the rest of humanity. I imagine Darwin is kicking himself for sleeping through this gunfight at the N.O.K.A.Y. Corral. I mean that's some serious playing with fire. And you know how I feel about playing with fire. "Don't do it unless you want to have the time of your life." It's my life creed.

Thanks to Luka, who agrees it's refreshing to see some people still know how to have a good time.

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