Giant Floating Crane Collapses On Itself Like A Limp Noodle

May 5, 2020

This is a short video of a giant ship-mounted crane designed to help assemble wind turbines at sea suddenly collapsing on itself in a German harbor like the penis of a man who just imagined himself in a bathtub full of cold spaghetti. Personally that doesn't work for me it only makes me horngry. Apparently the crane was trying to lift a 2,000 ton barge at the time of its collapse, even though I warned them from the look of that crane I wouldn't attempt anything over 1,999 tons. Way to go. Thankfully there were only a few minor injuries, but the company operating the crane estimate damages between €50 and €100 million. That's a pretty big window! "You do realize they mean between 50 million Euros and 100 million, right? Why would you assume that? Maybe they already own all the duct tape and cardboard they'll need for the repairs.

Keep going for the full video, which looks like something I built out of LEGO ruining the rest of my day. Also I like the alarm going off at the end like everybody didn't just feel something go horribly, horrible wrong.

Thanks again to Damien, who agrees lift with your legs, not your back.

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