Burger King Germany's Social Distancing Crowns

May 28, 2020


These are the social distancing crowns created by Burger King Germany. Each cardboard crown extends in a three foot radius around a wearer's head so that patrons are reminded to keep their distance from each other as the restaurants begin to resume dine-in service. Apparently Burger Kings in Italy are taking a different approach by selling Social Distancing Whoppers, which have three times the regular amount of onions on them. LOL, that'll certainly keep people away! And vampires. "That's garlic." I hate being so stupid. I remember when I was a kid I would always beg my parents to take me to Burger King so I could get a cardboard crown but they convinced me they'll only give you one on your birthday, presumably to crush my spirit and/or prepare me for the harsh reality of adulthood. Then on my birthday neither one would feel like driving.

Thanks to hairless, who informed me it's easy to keep six feet away from other people because he just has to imagine two penis-lengths. Haha, only 1.5 for me. And to Thaylor H, who agrees wearing a Burger King crown as a kid is the closest most of us will ever get to feeling like royalty.

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