These are the reasonably priced $8 (or $10 for two pairs or $14 for four) Garden Genie Gloves With Claws. Each pair (available in green, purple, and brown) includes eight ABS plastic claws attached to the fingers for easier digging when you're planting your garden this spring or sniffing out truffles or however the hell you spend your weekends in the country. Plus, who knows, you play your cards right and include some smooth talking and you could just put the person in moleperson, if you know what I mean. "You mean bang one." *covering child's ears* Jesus, what's the matter with you?
Keep going for a handful more shots including somebody who was asked to pull a finger, and somebody lining up to squeeze an Ent's breasts.
Thanks to Jessica E, who agrees alternatively, buy a cheap cultivator like a normal person who isn't trying to scare their plants.