This is the $20 Weird Al Yankovic Chia Pet available for pre-order from your choice of Chia Pet retailer (just Google Weird Al Yankovik Chia Pet, shipping in June). Obviously, this is a great day for people who have been waiting their whole lives for this. For everyone else? Just a regular day. *pulses blender, pours entirely too strong tropical cocktail into cored pineapple, sips through krazy straw that spells 'worksucks' in cursive* At least it's Friday and I can start my weekend after this dumbass performance review.
Thanks to Chase, who informed me green thumbs don't help grow penises. Well duh!*trying to scrub green Sharpie off thumb*