Because as Patrick Henry famously stated at the Second Virginia Convention on March 23, 1775, "Give me Star Wars everything, or give me death," these are officially licensed Star Wars staplers and tape dispensers. Created by Bioworld, the 'Crush the Rebellion' stapler costs $20 and tape dispenser $15, and both feature printed designs that look like they'll rub off in a light breeze. If you really want one search Bioworld Star Wars stapler/tape dispenser, but I don't feel right including a link here. Now if you'll excuse me...bartender -- what've you got there? I want one of those. "These are the tablets we use to clean the sink." *slapping $20 on the bar* Make it a double, good sir, and do not resuscitate.
Thanks to Joseph A, who agrees by the end of 2020 there will be a Star Wars version available of every product.