This is a short video of two raccoons passing through somebody's yard at night and realizing they've been spotted. Man, raccoons are nuts. Now I know some so-called "scientists" will try to tell you chimpanzees are human's closest relatives, but I'm telling you it's raccoons. And not just because they like to eat trash and raise hell all night, but that's my life. *pawing through wastebasket for stale snacks* Chimps don't party like we do.
Keep going for the video while I offer to argue (read: bare-knuckle fist fight) any scientist who tries to disagree with me.
Thanks to Cyndi M, whose patronus is a trash panda just like mine.