Astronauts Bake The First Ever Space Cookies

January 24, 2020


Above: one expensive milk and cookie.

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station successfully baked the first chocolate chip space cookies using their prototype Zero G oven, and dough provided by the DoubleTree by Hilton (admittedly those are some good-ass cookies). Some more details while I try to figure out where my girlfriend hid all the Girl Scout Cookies:

Italian astronaut Luca Parmitano was the master baker in December, radioing down a description as he baked them one by one in the prototype Zero G Oven. The first cookie -- in the oven for 25 minutes at 300 degrees Fahrenheit (149 degrees Celsius) -- ended up seriously under-baked. He more than doubled the baking time for the next two, and the results were still so-so. The fourth cookie stayed in the oven for two hours, and finally success.

"So this time, I do see some browning," Parmitano radioed. "I can't tell you whether it's cooked all the way or not, but it certainly doesn't look like cookie dough any more."

Parmitano cranked the oven up to its maximum 325 degrees F (163 degrees C) for the fifth cookie and baked it for 130 minutes. He reported more success. Additional testing is required to determine whether the three returned cookies are safe to eat.

Damn, so it took 130 minutes to bake two cookies at 325 degrees? Baking space cookies does not sound very efficient. So, the next time you forget you're supposed to have 200 cookies baked for one of your kid's school bake sales tomorrow DO NOT go to space to do it, you'll never finish in time. Just go to Costco and buy the ones in the plastic containers and transfer them to plates and Syran wrap them like a normal parent. PROTIP: Ice them yourself and nobody will even flinch when you tell them they're a secret family recipe. At least not until you admit that yes, the recipe did call for some of grandma's ashes.

Keep going for a video.

Thanks to Ash and Thaylor H, who agree ain't nobody got time for that, just eat the dough.

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