Because it just makes sense, this is the smoke-breathing Godzilla Christmas tree crafted by New Zealander Steven Newland and recently up for auction on Trademe. It sold for $415 while my hands were unfortunately too covered in bread stuffing to bid $1,000,000. That's a shame. As you can see, it offers the perfect place to pile gifts between its legs and, with a well-timed smokey exhale, might just be enough to scare an extra present out of Santa. Or a fart that sets the tree on fire, it really could go either way with a man who eats nothing but cookies and naughty elves.
Keep going for one more shot and a video of the smoke (fog machine) in action.
Thanks to my friend Jackie, who got me a Zelda coffee mug many moons ago and is still in service to this day.