Because this is America and just because is apparently as good a reason as any in these end times we're living in, this is a video of the 12,000-horsepower, 375+ MPH Flash Fire jet truck trying to roast a turkey dangling behind its engine. It's definitely able to sear the exterior a bit before blowing the entire turkey down the driveway. Would it even be possible to cook an entirely edible turkey at 1,650°F, or would the exterior be ashes before the interior was safe to eat? "Well--" I don't care I'm gonna try it anyways but with lava.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Joseph A, who agrees jet fumes do add a certain *Italian chef kiss* to any dish.