Cool: An Illuminated, Accurate Milky Way Model Inside A Crystal Ball

November 18, 2019

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This is the Illuminated Milky Way Orb available from Hammacher Schlemmer. The 3-inch (that's too small!) glass orb (not actually crystal) contains an allegedly accurate, laser-etched depiction of the Milky Way galaxy based on data collected by the European Space Agency's Gaia space observatory, and costs $160 (I could have sworn I saw something identical at a mall kiosk for $60, which I still thought was too steep). Some more info while I spend the rest of the day counting all those stars for accuracy:

Inclined at 60° within the orb to accurately match its inclination to the ecliptic--the plane of Earth's orbit as it revolves around the sun--it depicts the Galactic Bar and the Perseus and Scutum-Centarus Arms in clear detail. In addition to the Norma and Sagittarius Arms, the orb shows the Orion Arm, in which the Solar System resides. The orb rests on a 4 1/2" L x 3" Square base that illuminates the galaxy with a five multicolored LEDs.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "But how can I use it as a sex toy?" What? No. Also, what's the matter with you? You don't have to wonder if EVERY SINGLE THING EVER can be used as a sex toy when, just like with this one, it's a very obvious yes.

Keep going for a few more shots and a short video.

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Thanks to Jessie H, who agrees this would make a great holographic intergalactic map for a low-budget sci-fi movie if it only cost $10.

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