DutchWare's signature Chameleon Hammock, an 11' modular sleeper designed to be lightweight and adaptable to myriad environments, thanks to various layers and components you can add in and remove as needed. ($148)
The Half-Zipped Hammock, whose bugnet has 1 side sewn to the hammock body and the other attached to a separating zipper so you can roll up the bugnet on the sewn side and toggle it in place. ($138)
The Netless Hammock. Pictured above, a simple, single layer made of DutchWare Hexon 1.6 fabric. Best for sitting or snoozing in the backyard. ($80)
Did you know actual banana hammocks exist for preventing your bananas from bruising in the kitchen? I did not before my girlfriend told me, but they do (links to Bed Bath & Beyond DESPITE THEM NOT HONORING MY EXPIRED 20% YOUR ENTIRE ORDER COUPON LAST WEEKEND). Still, I'm sure this hammock will be a real laugh riot right up until the point a bear decides it wants to be a monkey for a day.
Thanks to Ashley G, who agrees if you do see a bear in the woods, never mention Goldilocks.