Different Strokes For Different Folks: Man Brings $200/Hour Clown To His Firing For Emotional Support

September 16, 2019


Above: the actual meeting.

A man in New Zealand was recently called in by his superiors for a firing and decided to bring a $200/hour clown to the meeting for emotional support. Me? I would have hired a bartender and a magician. "And a sword swallower!" GOOD CALL. The details:

Explaining his decision on Facebook, Thompson, who had been in the role since April, wrote: "A while ago, I got a job. A short while later, I lost it. For anyone who hasn't been fired, what happens is they schedule a serious meeting and advise you to bring a 'support person.' Sensing the bad news, I decided I'd need the best support person available, so I spent $200 to hire a clown."

The clown subsequently blew up balloon animals and even mimed crying when Thompson was handed his layoff paperwork, according to the New Zealand Herald.

"It was rather noisy him making balloon animals so we had to tell him to be quiet from time to time," he said.

Wait -- you had to tell the clown to be quiet because he was making balloon animals too loud? But you just got fired, you should have told him to make those penis shaped balloon hats as loud as possible, then passed them out to all the coworkers you hated. But what do I know? I'm just a man with-- "A whole lot of experience getting fired." I mean I even included it in the personal strengths portion of my résumé

Thanks to Irina A, who agrees if you're gonna get fired, get fired IN STYLE.

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