Atomik, Vodka Made With Radioactive Grain From Chernobyl

August 9, 2019


This is Atomik vodka, a vodka distilled by the just created Chernobyl Spirit Company using radioactive grain from a farm located in Chernobyl's radioactive exclusion zone. The company hopes to produce 500 bottles this year, and even more in the future if demand is sufficient. And how couldn't it be? Everybody dreams of having superpowers. Some more info:

"Any chemist will tell you, when you distil something, impurities stay in the waste product," [scientist and vodka distiller Jim Smith] explained. "So we took rye that was slightly contaminated and water from the Chernobyl aquifer and we distilled it. We asked our friends at Southampton University, who have an amazing radio-analytical laboratory, to see if they could find any radioactivity. [And] they couldn't find anything--everything was below their limit of detection."

"We don't have to just abandon the land," he said. "We can use it in diverse ways and we can produce something that will be totally clean from the radioactivity."

Hey, I'm all for glowing at night and being able to see through walls, but if you can produce vodka distilled from NOT radioactive grain, why wouldn't you just do that? You know, use that radioactive grain for some other product like-- "Don't say baby food." I WASN'T GOING TO, GOD.

Thanks again to Closet Nerd, who agrees what fun is a drinking game if you don't have extra toes by the end of it.

  • The_Wretched

    "Any chemist will tell you, when you distil something, impurities stay in the waste product,"

    A good chemist will tell you to test the output to see what got carried along anyway and not all impurities can be separated via distillation (for example, you can distill alcohol out of water but the last 5% is so attached to the water that it can't be split with that method.

  • Pour it on your dick and get a super mutated huge hog!

  • Steve Spivey

    All grain is radioactive. Everything on this planet is partly radioactive. Also, the area around Chernobyl where you can still harvest, is only about 5% higher than any other land area you pick.

  • Douchy McDouche

    So they took radioactive rye and distilled all the delicious glowing stuff out of it. Pass!

  • WhiteEagle2

    40% alcohol. Not great, Not Terrible.

  • D3Fd0ck

    Im a 151° guy, cant stand vodka, but this would be bought to sit on my sheft for decades to stare at :P

  • Steve Spivey

    Better to just create a label and adhere to a nice bottle w/ water inside. Much cheaper and no one will know the difference.

  • Doog

    151 degrees seems a bit warm for vodka, but hey, to each their own

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