Atomik, Vodka Made With Radioactive Grain From Chernobyl

August 9, 2019


This is Atomik vodka, a vodka distilled by the just created Chernobyl Spirit Company using radioactive grain from a farm located in Chernobyl's radioactive exclusion zone. The company hopes to produce 500 bottles this year, and even more in the future if demand is sufficient. And how couldn't it be? Everybody dreams of having superpowers. Some more info:

"Any chemist will tell you, when you distil something, impurities stay in the waste product," [scientist and vodka distiller Jim Smith] explained. "So we took rye that was slightly contaminated and water from the Chernobyl aquifer and we distilled it. We asked our friends at Southampton University, who have an amazing radio-analytical laboratory, to see if they could find any radioactivity. [And] they couldn't find anything--everything was below their limit of detection."

"We don't have to just abandon the land," he said. "We can use it in diverse ways and we can produce something that will be totally clean from the radioactivity."

Hey, I'm all for glowing at night and being able to see through walls, but if you can produce vodka distilled from NOT radioactive grain, why wouldn't you just do that? You know, use that radioactive grain for some other product like-- "Don't say baby food." I WASN'T GOING TO, GOD.

Thanks again to Closet Nerd, who agrees what fun is a drinking game if you don't have extra toes by the end of it.

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