This is the Kacchu Cardboard Samurai Armor for Adults available from the Japan Trend Shop. It comes in the styles of two of the most famous samurai: the dark armor of Date Masamune, and the vibrant red armor suit of Sanada Yukimura. One set of your choice will set you back $49, requires no glue or scissors to assemble, and fits most adults measuring 4′ 11″ to 5′ 10″. Now I know what you're thinking, and I agree. "My penis is almost twice that." I said I agree.
Keep going for a few more shots of all the fun we're gonna have whacking each other all bruisy with broom handles.
Thanks to DDD, who agrees cardboard armor is some of the best armor. I mean, provided you can get past its lack of actual protection.