BUSTED: Loud Flatulence Leads Police To Hiding Suspect

July 11, 2019

flatulence-arrest.jpg

The Clay County Sheriff's Office in Missouri was recently able to locate and arrest a suspect with a felony warrant for possession of a controlled substance when the man farted loudly while hiding. Man, I can't even tell you how many times I've lost a hide and seek championship the same way. Or woken myself up in the middle of the night.

"We've gotta give props to Liberty PD for using their senses to sniff him out!" read a Facebook comment from the Clay County Sheriff's Office.

So, do you think the arresting officers added *putting on cool guy shades and nose clip* olfactory assault to the list of the man's charges? "Wait -- why the nose clip?" Oh you'll know in a few seconds.

Thanks again to Closet Nerd, who agrees as tempting as it might be, if you think you might need to hide from the police later, skip the Taco Bell.

  • MustacheHam

    Dang, that stinks. :\

  • The_Wretched

    OPSEC isn't for amateurs. It includes a carefully controlled diet to avoid flatulence and poop production. A skilled practitioner can go a week without an evac.

  • GeneralDisorder

    My favorite military related read was the hoax explaining how snipers poop in the field.

  • Douchy McDouche

    He had a chance to get away but he blew it.

  • Bling Nye

    The asshole is just shitty at evasion.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    You mean evacuation...

  • Mark

    He needs to work on his smokescreen skills.

  • Closet Nerd

    The scene went something like this....
    https://youtu.be/vpn172GM8KM

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