This is a video of competitive eater Nela Zisser downing a 5,284 calorie 1kg 'Family Pack' of Nutella in 3 minutes and 56 seconds with no water. Man, she just pounds it giant spoonful after giant spoonful. For reference, I had two spoonfuls of peanut butter for breakfast this morning and thought I was going to choke to death. Which reminds me -- one time I bought a shrimp salad sandwich from a gas station but forgot to also buy a Nesquik to wash it down with and then when I was eating it in the car on the way home it kinda all got stuck in my throat like a solid mass and I felt like I couldn't breathe so I quickly pulled over and rolled my window down to puke but didn't get it all the way down in time and the car still smelled like a red tide when I sold it almost two years later because I think some shrimp actually got inside the door. My only wish is I could have seen what I looked like to someone driving by.
Keep going for the video while I remind myself to chew better.
Thanks to Charlotte, who agrees where there's a will, there's a way.