A Realistic Crocodile Floating Pool Decoy

June 26, 2019

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This is the Poolmaster 30-Inch Floating Crocodile Decoy (or is at an alligator?) available on Amazon ($56). It's the perfect thing to liven up a pool party, especially after everybody has had a few drinks and it's getting dark. Would having one of these in your pool stop me from hopping your fence and skinny-dipping in the middle of the night? No, but only because-- "Yeah yeah yeah, your penis is far too big to get bitten off by anything but a giant mutant crocodile from some Syfy Channel B-movie." I feel like you're mocking me but it's a fact.

Thanks to Jacques, who informed me wrestling that little crocodile wouldn't even be fair.

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