Wait, Was That A Machete?!: Guy Goes Nuts During Merging Road Rage Incident

May 14, 2019

texas-road-rage.jpg

This is a vertical video captured by a motorist on Interstate 635 near Dallas, Texas of a driver in a Chevrolet HHR who, mad as heck at the guy driving a Subaru WRX who won't let him merge into his lane, decides to sideswipe him, then get out his vehicle with the machete he was conveniently carrying (I suspect this might not be his first trek through the jungle) and break the dude's windows, then get back in his car and try to speed in front of the WRX, crashing into it again and getting spun around. 0/5 stars for the future of humanity, why doesn't this keyboard have a nuke button?

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Marc B, who agrees it's probably time somebody have everything but their walking license revoked.

  • Mungui

    "This is what happens, Larry!"

  • Andyman7714

    Chevy HHR. If it was an SSR the guy would have had a bazooka.

  • ShartInYourJacuzzi

    Great show, but really unsatisfying ending.

  • Jenness

    I would have freaked had I seen someone come out with a machete and slammed into him and tried to kill him You don't mess with those machete murderers because they'll go nuts on everyone.

  • GeneralDisorder

    The obvious solution is to carry a bigger machete.

    I can already hear what you're gonna ask next. What if the other guy has a bigger machete than mine? Well, you'll want to carry a sword too.

    But then what if the other guy has a bigger sword? Well, you'll need at least two swords. One hand-and-a-half style and one very large zweihander that you can really get some leverage into if you have to kill someone.

    But... now you've obviously begun to ask "what if the other guy has a halberd"... Well, I wouldn't recommend carrying a halberd. That would be silly. What? You gonna join the Swiss Guard and stand around keeping the pope safe? Of course not.

    So I guess you should probably skip all of that shit and just buy a P90. The P90 is one of the best close quarter weapon system ever made. Its bullpup design means it's got a lot of barrel in a short package. It has an absurdly high rate of fire. The projectiles are phenomenal at penetrating body armor but are also excellent at leaving lots of their energy behind inside the target.

  • Douchy McDouche

    I'd go with a lightsaber.

  • Derek St. Gelais

    Driving is hard.

  • Draco Basileus

    I like how everyone else just keeps pulling forward, like it's no big deal. Personally I would put my car in park, fully expecting bullets to start flying.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Well then people will just pull in front of you.

  • Loftydreamer

    No kidding, I'm super surprised they didn't start flying as it happened in Texas. Also I lived down there, 635 is a nightmare as is. Only place I ever got into an accident.

    My tires were worn and needed replacing, I backed off the traffic in front of me and tried to check my blind spot for cars, so I could merge. I looked left, came back to traffic at a dead stop, hit the car in front of me. No injures, just bent their bumper and broke my headlight. Call the police to report the accident as I was taught, got an extremely curt operator.

    She asked if the vehicles could move and if anyone was injured, after I attested to vehicle mobility and soundness of people, she asks why I called. "I thought I was supposed to." "No" The click of being hung up on.

  • Closet Nerd

    https://www.philly.com/news...

    I pass this every day on my way home from work.... people need to chill with the merging rage

  • Megatron Jenkins

    And people wonder why I want the extinction of the human race....

  • Bling Nye

    Wow, that's fucking terrible. Fuck that guy.

  • Closet Nerd

    Makes me think twice before reacting to assholes when driving.
    Although sometimes, I'm probably the asshole too.... but anyone can tell you I'm the nicest asshole you'll ever meet

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