Because the internets, just like my girlfriend's eyes when she tries to take me out to a fancy dinner and I act like the wild animal that I am, never stop rolling, this is a video of a tiny Shrek running a dog agility course, as edited by Twitter user chanbanhi (with a bunch of other fun edits). It is definitely one of my favorite videos to come out of the internet in recent history. Still, no word how Shrek placed, but my guess is *slipping on cool guy shades* Best In Showgre. Well? "Well what?" My back isn't going to pat itself! (Although my penis did manage to tie itself in a knot once on a water slide)
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Karen H and starborn, for reminding me I had this video saved to my phone but had forgotten about it until I was looking for the one of me catching a tossed shrimp with my eye at a hibachi restaurant.