Real Things Somebody Made: The Nose-Clip Mouth Curtain For Messy Eaters

May 2, 2019

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Seen here being modeled by the son of Jake Gyllenhaal and Aaron Rodgers, this is a video demonstration of the jocular Food Curtain, a little curtain that clips to your septum and hangs over your mouth so you can eat without people judging you for never learning how to chew with your mouth closed. Although now they'll certainly be judging the ridiculous little curtain dangling from your nose. *shrug* You can't win them all. Or, if you're me, any. *shoots paper ball at wastebasket, misses, jumps for rebound accidentally landing on surge protector, killing computer and deleting all my work for today* Just take me now, Lord.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who agrees if you have to wear a Food Curtain, you can probably expect to be seated at the kids' table this Thanksgiving.

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