Because everybody needs a hobby, this is a video from Youtuber Mr. Michal in which he races three AA battery brands (Energizer, Duracell, and Varta) with neodymium magnets attached to each end through copper coils in an endurance race (total time magnet can speed around an infinite loop before stopping) and drag race (first to the end wins). The Duracell crushes the infinity loop contest with a time of 37 minutes 24 seconds, Varta comes in second with 27 minutes 50 seconds, and Energizer brings up the rear with 26 minutes 45 seconds. In the drag race contest Varta takes first, Duracell second, and Energizer third, leading at least one blogger to speculate that pink bunny with the cool guy shades and drum is a filthy liar and probably secretly plugged into a wall outlet.
Keep going for the video, as well as another Mr. Michal conducted with an actual race track in which Energizer comes in last yet again.
Thanks to Cord, who agrees Mr. Michal should test which brand is best to fill a sock with and swing in a fight.