Cockpit Transcript Released From Navy Pilots Who Drew A Giant Wiener In The Sky Above Washington

May 15, 2019


Thanks to a Freedom Of Information Act inquiry finally being used for good, a transcript of the Navy EA-18G Growler jet crew's conversation while drawing a giant penis in the sky above Washington state (links to previous post about the skywiener) has been made available to the public. The real meat of the conversation:

"You should totally try to draw a penis," the (pilot's cockpit partner, an electronic warfare office [EWO]) advised.

"I could definitely draw one, that would be easy," the pilot boasted. "I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I'm gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they're not connected to each other...."

"Balls are going to be a little lopsided," the pilot advised.

"Balls are complete," he reported moments later. "I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft."

"Which way is the shaft going?" the EWO asked.

"The shaft will go to the left," the pilot answered.

"It's gonna be a wide shaft," the EWO noted.

"I don't wanna make it just like 3 balls," the pilot said.

"Let's do it," the EWO said. "Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick."

The punishment for the crew responsible has not been released by the Navy, although I can only hope it involved taking a course in drawing human anatomy, because that is a very rudimentary penis. I mean, our ancestors drew more convincing penises in the caves where they slept, and they didn't even have jets.

Keep going for two shots of the member for reference.


Thanks to J Cove, who agrees precision flying is an important skill.

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