The Charmin Forever Roll, Giant Toilet Paper Rolls For Home Use

April 12, 2019

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This is the Charmin Forever Roll, a massive roll of Charmin's Ultra Soft two-ply toilet paper designed for people who want to let guests know they take wiping their asses seriously. The TP comes in multi-user (12-inch diameter) and single-user (8.7-inch diameter) sizes, and a multi-user roll contains 1,700 sheets for a total of 185-square feet of wiping real estate, or about six to eight times a double roll. A starter kit with either a floor stand or wall-mounted holder and three rolls costs $30. A three-pack of replacement rolls costs $10. Is that a good deal? No clue, I steal the cheap, industrial toilet paper rolls from the office restrooms every Friday like a normal person who doesn't care if their ass bleeds because it never gets a break from glorified newsprint.

Keep going for a couple more shots while I tell a coworker I could wipe my way through one of these rolls in two bad days, easy.

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Thanks to Dave L, who informed me he prefers a bidet. I've never tried one, but I did use my roommate's Waterpik once!

  • roehlstation

    I worked with one of the guys on this development team......

  • Douchy McDouche

    For that "magic marker" piece of shit that keeps giving.

  • sizzlepants

    This was never intended to be sold for home use.

    It's just that no business would offer 2-ply paper in anything besides a private executive bathroom.

  • The_Wretched

    Finally, support for 'free' toilet paper.

    Also, civilized countries like India often have spray hoses attached to the toilet for getting actually clean. This paper wiping approach leaves something to be desired.

    I wouldn't use a water pik, too likely to perforate the skin near the anus. Bad idea. Bad GW.

  • digidude

    That's just the business-sized roll they put in at stores and offices, etc. But DANG I love those office rolls. None of that soft-and-rippy and maybe-accidentally-poke-a-finger-through-the-sheets stuff. Give me cheap, papery TP. Those Charmin bears can go take a flying dump in the woods.

  • Tigerh8r

    At my office they use only "John Wayne" TP, I'm thinking it's to keep us from enjoying ANYTHING while we're at work.

  • Bling Nye
  • Closet Nerd

    Still not going to change the roll....

  • Wooder

    I say it one epic BAD cat toy...

  • Jenness

    They should put "not for homes with pets, kids or wasteful jerks who want to use toilet paper for everything*

  • Tigerh8r

    I have a wife, a daughter, and a teenage son. One of those would last a day and a half, and somehow I would STILL be the only one who ever changed it.

  • GeneralDisorder

    What you ought to do is not change it... Just keep some of your own TP in your pocket or something.

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