Safety First: Surplus Bulletproof Camo Codpieces

April 26, 2019

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In dream modeling jobs news, these are the genuine British military issue blast shorts with Kevlar inserts available from Sportsman's Guide ("like new", $45). Obviously, the surplus penis protectors are more overwear than underwear, but don't let that stop you from wearing them bare-nuts come this year's 4th of July party. I mean you do want to be the life of the barbecue, don't you? PROTIP: Stop burning all the burgers, bro, pay attention to the grill. On a side note, my roommate actually bought a pair of these because he can't say no to a good military surplus deal and I removed the Kevlar inserts to make my own bulletproof eyepatches. God willing, he'll ask me to help him test his new underwear later.

Keep going for a couple more shots of the NEW going commando.

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Thanks to Eric P, who informed me he's excited to finally going to upgrade from the empty toilet paper tube he's been using for protection.

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