This is some security cam footage from a Fresno, California hardware store of an older man stealing a small chainsaw by jamming it down his pants. I thought for sure that the employees saw what he was doing and were going to stop him before he could leave, but apparently he was able to exit the store with the chainsaw and drive away. Brazen. Maybe not as brazen as stealing a chainsaw down your pants while it's running, but I am half ninja, half magician.
Keep going for the video, and you're encouraged to call the Fresno Police Department at 559-621-7000 if your neighbor looks like this man and has a new ECHO chainsaw.
Thanks to Ricky SH, who's not convinced he doesn't have a belt sander in the back of his pants.