This is a short video of a bear speeding up a tree like it just had an accident and the last roll of Charmin is in the tippy-top branches. And it comes down almost just as fast! So, if you were wondering how quickly a bear can climb a tree, the answer is much, much faster than you ever could. I'd encourage you to remember that the next time you're considering doing a little B and E and subsequent porridge theft.
Keep going for the whole video.
Thanks to Ricky D, who's still convinced he can outswim one, but I have my doubts.