This is a timelapse video of three large pet snails eating their dinner. They almost seem human, don't they? "Not at all." Kinda though. They also seem like they're eating way better than I normally do. What is that anyways, Mongolian beef and fried rice? "I don't think so." Yeah, but you don't KNOW so. G.I. Joe would be ashamed, and good luck winning the battle with only half of it, which I'm not sure what is, but I'm not convinced you have either.
Keep going for the video while I argue with a coworker that, despite popular belief, the other half of the battle is not equal parts red and blue lasers.
Thanks to MSA, who agrees snails really know how to party, we just don't realize it because they don't move at our speed.