Haha -- throw those hands up, buddy!
In 'that looks exactly like the kind of couple who I'd imagine would show up late for their departing cruise ship and expect it would wait for them' news, this is a video of a couple in Nassau, Bahamas, watching the Symphony Of The Seas leave dock without them after showing up 50 minutes late. Some more info while I don't feel sorry at all:
All aboard time was 3:30pm. At 4:15PM the gangway was removed, doors were closed and the lines were let loose. The couple showed up approximately 5 minutes later only to see the ship preparing to push off!
My parents are actually big cruisers and they said that on the last cruise they took somebody got left behind at a port for not being aboard the ship on time and SPOILER: that person was me. The only difference is I don't care, I live here now.
Keep going for the video, which is largely missable if other people's misfortune isn't as much your bag as it is mine.
Thanks to Cyndi M, who wants to know this couple's record for showing up to job interviews on time.