This is a video of a couple of brainiacs in Davenport, Iowa (I think my buddy Tyler is from there -- remind me to ask him) trying to tow a car out of a ditch BY SHUTTING ONE END OF A TOW STRAP IN THE CAR'S TRUNK AND THE OTHER UNDER A JEEP'S HOOD. This is exactly why you call AAA and not DDD when you have car trouble. Unsurprisingly, the tow does not go very well, and the hood of the Jeep starts to rip off. Wow. No word how these geniuses think you're supposed to remove a tire that needs changing, but I suspect it involves driving really fast in reverse.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to oscar, who agrees everybody knows your best tow-point is a side view mirror.