Oh, You Know, Just A Pregnant Red Crab Casually Eating Some Babies

February 21, 2019

This is a video of a pregnant Christmas Island red crab casually popping some young offspring in her mouth like they're candy. That's some pretty hardcore snacking. Some more info while I make a mental note to do everything in my power to never be reborn as a red crab:

Every year, 50 million Christmas Island red crabs migrate from their jungle homes out to the coast to spawn their eggs into the sea in a spectacular event, timed with the tides and a special phase of the moon. The baby crabs drift around out at sea for the first month of their life and if they are lucky, the currents bring them back to Christmas Island. If some spawning crabs decide to migrate a month late, aiming for the same tide a month later, occasionally you'll have this remarkable situation of pregnant female crabs coming down to the coast to spawn at the same time as last months baby crabs are coming back out of the water in a living red carpet heading into the jungle. Amazingly, filming this crab on her way down to spawn, she was stopping along the way to feast on the tiny returning crabs

Man -- it's a cold, hard world out there. One minute you're being born, and a month later somebody else's mom is eating you and your siblings like a bag of Skittles. Mother Nature: she's a cruel mistress. She might be an even crueler wife though -- just ask Father Time. "She tied my balls to the hour hand of the town clock at 6PM." Wait, what?! "Help it's almost 11." I'll call the fire department, I'm not touching those old prunes.

Keep going for the whole video while I contemplate if the circle of life is really just an arc.

Thanks to PT, who agrees life is hard from the start and only gets harder.

  • hearevil

    Crabs... who needs em?

  • Corky McButterpants

    Damn Nature! You's a cold motherfucker!

  • Irina Abramovich

    Cute crab!!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    When you find out that you're not Mom's favorite...

  • Bling Nye


  • Closet Nerd

    The Cronus of the crab world!!!
    "Watch out Demeter, Hestia, Hera, Hades and Poseidon!!!"

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