Man Suspected Of Drugged Driving Blames Crash On 'Swerving To Avoid Octopus'

February 7, 2019


A 49-year old British man driving on the A381 between Malborough and South Milton in Devon was recently arrested on suspicion of drugged-driving after rolling his car into a ditch after he "swerved to avoid an octopus." Sounds completely legit to me, but let's dig a little deeper:

Officers, who tweeted about the incident, said they found no evidence of an octopus on the road.

Octopuses are not unheard of in the seas off the south coast of England, but this particular cephalopod would have had to crawl more than 5km [3.1 miles] over hills and fields to find itself in the path of a car on the A381.

I mean, sure, but you can't rule out the possibility that he just thought he saw an octopus but it was really something else. I mean he's driving at night and cars go fast. You can't just assume he was on drugs. Or maybe it really was an octopus. Maybe a bird picked it out of the ocean but dropped it a couple miles later when the octopus tried to sucker its eyes out. Or maybe the octopus realized it just didn't have any interest in helping find Nemo or Dory and wanted to make some land-friends. Or, okay, maybe the man was on drugs. Because this one time, oh man, I was on vacation and -- wait. Not today, mom!

Thanks to Chris, who wants to exactly what kind of 'evidence of an octopus in the road' these cops were looking for. They don't leave a slime trail like snails and are masters of camouflage.

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