This is the $40 cast iron t-rex bottle opener made by SUCK UK (but available on Amazon for $30). The solid cast iron t-rex measures 10.2″ x 4.7″ x 2.4″ and, like me, opens bottles with his teeth, not his hands. Plus it weighs a hefty two pounds, which means it can also double as a weapon in the event you find yourself fighting your roommate for the last beer in the fridge. Just make sure not to hit him too hard or you might find yourself in the same situation I'm in. "Which is?" Asking a stranger on the internet to help you dispose of a body. "Jesus, GW!" Well are you coming or not? I have nosy neighbors and this turd already stunk bad enough alive.
Keep going for a couple more shots while I have a panic attack every time I hear sirens.
Thanks to hairless, who agrees this is a tough purchase decision because, as cool as it is, $30 would also buy a fair amount of beer you can opener with an existing bottle opener.