How Whimsical: Reusable Elephant Drinking Straws

February 14, 2019


Because who hasn't dreamed of drinking out of an animal's nose, these are the Elephant Straws allegedly available for pre-order (minimum order of 12 but there's no price when I put them in my cart so I don't know what the hell is going on I just want my damn straws) from UK online retailer Paladone. The reusable straws consist of two separate segments for easy cleaning, and make it look like there's an elephant at the bottom of your glass of your Juicy Juice or cocktail. No word if the bottom hole is in the elephant's foot or belly, but hopefully it's in the foot so you can actually drink to the bottom of the glass. Otherwise that's just poor product design. And you know how I feel about poor product design. "It makes you angry." Worse *plowing through box of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies* it makes me HANGRY. It's the reason I'm fat. "I don't think you can blame poor produc--" IT'S THE REASON I'M FAT, END OF DISCUSSION.

Keep going for one more shot while I blow bubbles in my chocolate milk and daydream I'm Willy Wonka.


Thanks to Alyssa, who agrees the only good thing about straws is watching people try to find them with their mouth and tongue without looking and keep missing.

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