Note: Hey guys, in case you didn't notice because you don't love me nearly enough the site was out all morning. I continued to write in a Microsoft Word knockoff but it crashed and I lost all the dumbass stuff I wrote. At any rate, I'm gonna go for a nice long cry in the shower and I'll be back tomorrow for a re-do.
Because some people aren't afraid to grab life by the horns and live their dream, a Texas woman was recently banned from her local Walmart after being caught drinking wine out of a Pringles can (after all, once you pop, you can't stop) and driving an electric shopping cart around the parking lot for "about three hours." What a magnificent creature.
Police tell the Times Record News that officers responded to a suspicious person call at about 9 a.m. Friday at a Walmart in Wichita Falls, about 125 miles northwest of Dallas.
Wichita Falls police spokesman Jeff Hughes says the woman had reportedly been riding the electric cart around the parking lot for about three hours.
Hughes says police eventually found the woman in a nearby restaurant and told her not to return to the store.
Police say the woman wasn't arrested and her name was not released.
The ol' wine out of a Pringles can before 9 a.m. -- classic. And she wasn't arrested? Kinda makes me want to move to Texas. Only kinda though. Still, no word when exactly this woman relocated from Florida or what sort of crazy hijincks her boyfriend is up to, but I for one can't wait to find out.
Thanks to my buddy Closet Nerd, who agrees this woman is an inspiration to us all.