Sounds About Right: Florida Man Attacks Father With Pizza After Finding Out His Dad Helped Deliver Him At Birth

January 7, 2019

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Because Florida Man's mind works differently than most people's, Robert Houston of Holiday, Florida was recently arrested for attacking his father with a pizza after finding out his dad helped deliver him when he was born. *wielding medium two-topping menacingly* What do you mean you got to cut the cord?!

Houston's father told deputies he was returning home from a walk when his son picked up the pizza from the delivery man and proceeded to shove the pie in his face, hold him down and yell at him.


"The victim began to flail around trying to get the defendant off him at which point the defendant went outside and awaited law enforcement," the arrest report stated.

Houston later told police he "threw pizza at his dad's face striking him with it due to him being mad his dad helped give birth to him," WTSP reported.

It's unclear why the information caused him to attack his father.

Oh, Florida Man, you never fail to amuse and confuse. So -- do think he was pissed his dad saw his mom's privates? Or maybe that he wasn't really flown in by storks like he was led to believe his whole life? And how did he even get this information? Whatever the case, please don't tell him what his parents had to do to create him in the first place or I'm afraid everyone is going to bed hungry tonight.

Thanks to The Carlos, who agrees that's an almost sinful waste of perfectly good pizza.

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