Say What Now?: Man Admits To Injecting Own Sperm Into Arm To Treat Lower Back Pain

January 17, 2019


Because who says you can't make your own medicine, a 33-year old Irish man has admitted to doctors that he's been injecting his own semen into his arm at least once a month for the past year and a half to treat chronic lower back pain. Now that's a hell of a home remedy. My back would have to be so broken I could see it looking straight forward before I tried that.

While the man had a history of chronic low back pain, a further examination revealed a red rash on his right upper arm - and the patient subsequently admitted he had been injecting himself with his own semen for a year and a half.

"He had devised this 'cure' independent of any medical advice.

"Upon this occasion the patient had injected three 'doses' of semen intra-vascularly and intra-muscularly," it said.

Doctors found that the semen had leaked into the soft tissue in the man's arm.

"This patient's back pain improved over the course of his inpatient stay and he opted to discharge himself without availing of an incision and drainage of the local collection," the authors noted.

First of all, was it working? And secondly, who comes up with this stuff? I mean, how does a man possibly decide to inject his own semen into his arm to treat lower back pain? It doesn't make any sense. Unless -- UNLESS -- he asked a coworker like me how to treat lower back pain, and that coworker looked him dead in the eye, leaned in, and whispered 'Inject your own semen into your arm.' Admittedly, I could see myself telling somebody that.

Thanks to Thaylor H and K Diddie, who want to know if he even bothered eating his own boogers or drinking some of his blood first, or if he just went straight to the semen.

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