Because I'm not really sure why really, these are some of the bottles of Heinz Ketchup Caviar the company is giving away to 150 lucky(?) winners who reply to this Tweet in honor of wait for it -- Valen-HEINZ Day. Dear God. You can rest easy though, Aquaman, because the ketchup caviar doesn't actually contain any fish roe, they're actually just gelatinous ketchup balls for garnishing whatever ultra-fancy meal you just cooked that's served with ketchup. Probably lobster or truffles or something. Still, fingers crossed Heinz plans on following up this smash-hit marketing campaign with the re-release purple ketchup.
Keep going for a video. That's right, a video.
America's favorite ketchup presents America's favorite caviar. Reply with #HeinzKetchupCaviar and #Sweeps for the chance to get your hands on one of 150 jars this Valen-HEINZ day. No purchase necessary. Rules linked in bio. pic.twitter.com/aa8NNebVk1— Heinz Ketchup (@HeinzKetchup_US) January 24, 2019
Thanks to v, who agrees the fanciest ketchup has been and always will be Grey Poupon. "That's mustard." Please, it's so fancy it can be whatever it wants to be.