I'm Shocked: High-Tech Russian Humanoid Robot Revealed To Be Just A Man In A Suit

December 13, 2018

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In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who didn't believe this 5-ton 'state of the art' Russian mech wasn't just a scrap metal sculpture, a 'cutting-edge' humanoid robot named Boris that was recently on display at a youth technology conference in the country has been unmasked as a man in a commercially available robot costume. The robot's authenticity was first drawn into question after reporters noticed a human's neck clearly visible (seen above), as well as it making a lot of "unnecessary movements" during a dance routine. When reached for comment about the incident, I could only hear the engineers at Boston Dynamics laughing uncontrollably.

The android - known as Boris - had been lauded on the state-owned broadcaster Russia-24 as a technological breakthrough with the ability to walk, talk and dance.


It then emerged 'Boris' was in actual fact a 250,000 rouble (£2,975) [~$3,770] costume called Alyosha the Robot, made by a company called Show Robots.

According to reports, a photograph published by MBKh Media, a news agency founded by Vladimir Putin's opponent Mikhail Khodorkovsky, appeared to show an actor wearing the suit ahead of the annual Proyektoria technology forum, where "Boris" was displayed.

So it was just a guy in a suit and not a real robot -- it still might encouraged some children to pursue careers in science and technology. Isn't that right, kids? "WE WANNA BE CHARACTERS AT DISNEYLAND!" Well, at least they tried.

Keep going for a video of Boris's questionable dance routine, as well as the shot of the man who was operating him unmasked and posing like he was the first human in space or something.

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Thanks to Valerie L, who agrees the easiest way to tell a robot from a person in a robot costume is how they react as you're raising the ninja sword over your head.

  • Joz Jonlin

    This is a great metaphor for Soviet Russia. We were scared of Russia during the cold war, but Russia barely had the technology to punch its way out of a paper bag. Sure, they had nukes, and a lot of them, but the entire country as a superpower was all smoke and mirrors. There's a good chance that most of those nukes wouldn't even work. The only thing they had going for them was a space program. Russia didn't have a real trickle down effect with technology like the United States. While Americans were enjoying better and better lifestyles due to this trickle down effect, the average Russian was living like Americans lived in the 1920's. The cold war helped create a fantastically technological America, while Russians languished in misery and poverty, and then watched as Soviet Russia died, virtually overnight. And good riddance, too.

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    So...pretty much on par with the US? Did you ever read how the big companies are faking A.I.?

  • Mechanical JERK.

  • Douchy McDouche

    What everyone failed to realize is that the human inside the robot costume is the actual robot. You have been Incepted.

  • Deksam

    I am pretty sure all of The View is comprised of big fat hens in human suits. With Whoopi as the cluck.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Look, I get it's a costume but I'm still terrified of it and want to destroy the shit out of it.

  • MustacheHam

    Here's a name that would be more fitting: A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 2.0

  • lushkneebumbuild

    nah, the robot was real. the human suit is a coverup because the government seized it to repurpose as terminator

  • Wooder

    This robot was decommission after this event. We will miss this comrade!
    Bad day to forget your neck cover in the dryer.

  • In Mother Russian, you are the robot!!

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    ...Robot programs you!

  • AHHH!

  • Douchy McDouche

    You really need to learn how Soviet Russia jokes work.

  • :-(

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    In Soviet Russia, jokes learn how you work. I love this country!

  • Jenness

    I bet that no one actually believed it was a Robot and this is fake news of fake news of fake news. Because...2018.

  • Eric Ord

    Ironic considering someday soon we're all going to discover Meh is a robot in a human suit.

  • ward00

    Silly Russian Robot

  • Bosun Higgs

    Rossum breathed a sigh of relief.

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