George R.R. Martin's Guide To New York City Pizza

December 4, 2018


Seen here wearing what I assume is a vest borrowed from Fatz Geronimo of Showbiz Pizza's Rock-A-Fire Explosion band, this is a video of author George R.R. Martin taking a break from his busy schedule of watching his books write themselves to guide us in the ways of New York City pizza. George says the most important aspects of a good New York City pizza are a very thin but still flavorful crust, and the use of a coal fired oven to cook the pizza. He specifically gives John's Pizzeria, Lombardi's and Di Fara shoutouts, but insists you shouldn't "get any weird stuff on it though. None of this sprouts or pineapple or anything like that." Personally I happen to like sprouts and pineapple pizza, but that's just me and I'm a raccoon and four out of five of my most recent meals have come out of garbage bags I've torn open.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to K Diddie, who agrees they should really invite the Ninja Turtles to do this segment next.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Take that Chicago! Some fat neckbeard hates your thick crust bullshit!

    Side note: I've been to NYC like 12 times and the best NYC style pizza I've ever had was in New Jersey. I've never been to Chicago. I have no objections to thick crust really. I just like to be a douche about things.

  • jodyberry

    Where'd he get those excellent graphics - Fiverr?!

  • qcp

    Shut the hell up and write, you fat fuck.

  • Draco Basileus

    Something tells me the last book will magically be published right as the last episode airs on HBO.

  • sizzlepants

    Hawaiian pizza is delicious so screw anyone who looks down at the idea of pineapple on pizza.

  • Hawaiian pizza - invented in Canada by a Greek.
    And pineapple is just wrong... full stop!
    Never mind on pizza.
    Where it is supper wrong.

  • Bling Nye

    I still regret reading A Game of Thrones in 1997 and having to wait 20+ fucking years for that motherfucker to finish the series. After it took 5 years between the 3rd and 4th books, I figured I'd just read the rest after either he finishes the last book or he dies and there are no more books.

    Given the guy's age and general appearance I figure the latter is far more likely, but I'm really hoping for the former.

    It's like he's just adding on years between sequels, it was 5 years for book 4, 6 years for book 5, and we're pushing 7+ for the 6th... who knows if the 7th will ever actually even happen...

  • Draco Basileus

    Try being a Robert Jordan fan. And he did die before he finished the WOT series.

  • Bling Nye


    Except with him at least he stayed pretty consistent with the book releases every couple years (I think the longest gap was like 3-4 years?) rather than this frustrating 5-7 year gap between books bullshit. Plus Jordan put out like 11 books over 20-ish years while Martin is struggling to hit 6 in roughly the same time period.

  • Ollie Williams

    If anyone knows pizza, it's this fat fucking guy.

  • ShartInYourJacuzzi


  • The_Wretched

    Coal? No thanks. I'll just eat whatever the pizza-rat thinks is worth stealing.

  • GeneralDisorder

    mmmm... Delicious thorium and radioactive fly-ash! Yay!

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