Real Products That Exist: A Han Solo In Carbonite Phone-Charging Power Bank

November 26, 2018


Note: I heard ThinkGeek is having a sitewide 50% CyberMonday sale today only when using coupon code DOTCOM at the checkout. Do what you want with that info (personally I looked around for five minutes, added a few things to my cart, then closed the browser window forever). This concludes my CyberMonday coverage.

Aaaaand we're back. Did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving break? I feel like I gained twelve pounds. Get it? "Because you ate so much?" No, I adopted another small dog. Or did I? I don't know anymore, it's hard to keep my lies straight. Her name is Eleanor, and she's 100% cuddlebug when she doesn't have the zoomies. This is the $34 officially licensed Han Solo frozen in carbonite power bank available from Merchoid. Unfortunately, I don't think Jabba is going to fall for this. "Because it's so small?" I didn't even think of that. I mean because it's obviously plastic. Carbonite has a certain sheen to it.

We all know it's a pain when your battery is running low on the go, so this convenient little device is the power bank of choice for the demands of the modern age: it carries 8000mAh of power which equates to up to two full charges for the average mobile device, and is designed to work with Bluetooth speakers, PlayStation controllers and almost any device that can be charged via USB, including the main brands of smartphone.

So it's a $34 power bank that has a 3-D Han frozen in carbonite on one side so you can't easily stack things on top of it, which is probably a good thing since that's how my last power bank set a stack of nudie magazines on fire. "Wait, what?" I meant Architectural Digests and Mensa Bulletins.

Thanks to Tom and JD, who agrees the best power bank has been and always will be having an electricity based superpower.

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