6-Foot 4-Inches, 3,083-Pounds: Knickers, Australia's Largest Cow

November 28, 2018

giant-cow-3.jpg

Seen here struggling to fit in, these are several shots and a video of Knickers, a seven-year-old Holstein Friesian (a breed of dairy cattle) that lives in Myalup, Western Australia. Unlike the rest of the very average ~4-foot 1-inch, 1,500-pound cows in his herd, Knickers stands 6-foot 4-inches tall and weighs 3,083 pounds. He's also presumably been bullied about it his whole life. Some more info while I call my therapist to talk about middle school:

[Owner] Geoff - whose beast is the biggest of its breed in Australia - said: "It was too heavy. I wouldn't be able to put it through a processing facility. So I think it will just live happily ever after."


The beast cost owners £225 and they bought him as a "coach" to take charge of the herd.

Knickers is technically a steer - which is a castrated male bovine.

Geoff continued: "When he was young, when we first got him, we had a Brahman steer which was a friend of his.

"So his name was bra... so we (had) bra and knickers. We never thought he would turn into a big knickers."

Bra and Knickers, that's precious. But seriously I'm pretty sure Paul Buyan's ox Blue must have knocked up Knicker's mom between the fence rails or something. It's the only thing that makes sense. Also, Knickers' enormous size saving him from slaughter has given me a genius idea. "Does it involve eating until you're twice the size you are now so you're too big to fit in a pod and can't be forced to join the Matrix and provide power to the Machines?" How did you know?! "Great minds think alike." Yeah they do! *downs a handful of blue and red pills simultaneously*

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

giant-cow-2.jpg

giant-cow-1.jpg

Thanks to Marcelo Underdog and Thaylor H, who

  • Alf in pog form

    £225 ??? We don't use Pounds here in Australia, everyone knows that our currency is the Dollerydoo. Bloody drongo's....

  • Paul

    The author must get his eggs from roosters and milk from bulls :)

  • Steven Rodriguez

    That is a lot of steak.

  • lushkneebumbuild

    i want to see a photo of how it compares to typical members of it's breed. (this photo tells me nothing, is it like a rottweiler next to a terrier? a terrier next to a chihuahua?)

  • MustacheHam

    With the square shape of this steer should get a proper name.

    Big Box Bull.

  • KID

    metrics, heard of it?

  • Eric Ord

    My FIRSTS and shitposts vs all your contributions to the message boards

  • Douchy McDouche

    You call that a cow, moite? Now THAT'S a cow!

  • Homestar

    Going to need to see a human standing by him for scale. How do we know those other cows aren't dwarves?

  • Doog

    It's Ferdinand's white spotted cousin from Down Under

  • ShartInYourJacuzzi

    It's not a cow it's a steer.

  • I came here to say exactly this.

  • Tigerh8r

    I'll have the filet please...

  • My dad used to have a pet steer named Norman, who was also a dairy cow and was nearly as large as Knickers. Same colors and similar patterns, too. I wonder if one (or some) of the dairy breeds have some sort of throwback gene that makes one of them huge once in a while.

  • Eric Ord

    "The cow's name is Norman. You were pulling on his DICK."

  • That movie is exactly why my dad wanted a pet steer. Norman actually followed him around like that too.

  • PUNX

    castrated.... so they let him live but with no reason to live :(

  • Douchy McDouche

    Typical male. Always thinking of sex. #metoo

  • Myrtle R. Demasi

    Do you really please remember the vehicle you wish to buy together with the own home you really loved the a lot ? Every one of us have some things in our daily life which we need to fulfill . We do your best in direction of it. Still often we miss out, but not anymore . This amazing on the web program created in a manner that it contributes greatly you to get paid noticeably great income . Function each day and give your work couple of hours and generate to as much as $15000 each week . It gives you chance to work in your very own home space with flexible free time . You could be your own personal boss . It really is a life changer on line opportunity which can help you to get what you aspire in your life . Right now look and look at , outstanding things waiting around for you >>> https://hobalesi.tumblr.com

  • Megatron Jenkins

    That. Sucks. Poor bastard, all the ladies he can moo at, for nothing.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post