6-Foot 4-Inches, 3,083-Pounds: Knickers, Australia's Largest Cow

November 28, 2018

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Seen here struggling to fit in, these are several shots and a video of Knickers, a seven-year-old Holstein Friesian (a breed of dairy cattle) that lives in Myalup, Western Australia. Unlike the rest of the very average ~4-foot 1-inch, 1,500-pound cows in his herd, Knickers stands 6-foot 4-inches tall and weighs 3,083 pounds. He's also presumably been bullied about it his whole life. Some more info while I call my therapist to talk about middle school:

[Owner] Geoff - whose beast is the biggest of its breed in Australia - said: "It was too heavy. I wouldn't be able to put it through a processing facility. So I think it will just live happily ever after."


The beast cost owners £225 and they bought him as a "coach" to take charge of the herd.

Knickers is technically a steer - which is a castrated male bovine.

Geoff continued: "When he was young, when we first got him, we had a Brahman steer which was a friend of his.

"So his name was bra... so we (had) bra and knickers. We never thought he would turn into a big knickers."

Bra and Knickers, that's precious. But seriously I'm pretty sure Paul Buyan's ox Blue must have knocked up Knicker's mom between the fence rails or something. It's the only thing that makes sense. Also, Knickers' enormous size saving him from slaughter has given me a genius idea. "Does it involve eating until you're twice the size you are now so you're too big to fit in a pod and can't be forced to join the Matrix and provide power to the Machines?" How did you know?! "Great minds think alike." Yeah they do! *downs a handful of blue and red pills simultaneously*

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

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Thanks to Marcelo Underdog and Thaylor H, who

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