Marine Pilot Under Investigation For Flying Invisible Wiener Pattern In Sky

October 30, 2018


A US Marine pilot is currently under investigation after flying in a pattern above the Salton Sea in California's Imperial and Coachella Valleys that very clearly resembles a penis. Just not a very big one, at least by my standards. 'You might want to stand back,' I imagine telling my doctor as I take my pants off while he insists that's unnecessary to check my blood pressure. I also imagine myself passionately disagreeing.

Maj. Josef Patterson, spokesman for 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, told the Marine Corps Times that the aircraft in question belongs to Marine Fighter Attack Training Squadron 101. Patterson could not say whether the pilot was an instructor or in training.

"Obscene or inappropriate actions, flight or not, do not reflect the core values we hold as Marines," Patterson told NBC 7 San Diego. He told the station that the incident was being investigated and that the Marine Corps would determine possible disciplinary action after the investigation was completed.

So he skywrote an invisible penis. What I'm more concerned about is all that circling he did north of Imperial. That looks like an incredible waste of fuel. Remember: the shortest distance between two points is not a crappy spiral. "Yeah, and it isn't a penis either." That's never been proven.

Thanks again to hairless, who agrees if you aren't jogging or biking around your neighborhood drawing penises with your GPS, are you even exercising?

  • Daniel Burns-Mckernan

    Oh come on, that's the most Marine thing anyone could ever do... have they MET Marines?

  • Douchy McDouche

    Semper Phallus! Oorah!

  • Jenness

    Who would even know this to begin with? Big deal. An investigation...give me a break.

  • GeneralDisorder

    That's obviously not a penis. It's very clearly Kilroy peering over the fence.

  • LmG

    I wonder why they even make these public :thinking:

  • Alfonso Roul√©

    Looks like those spirals were his first attempt at a penis but his ambition had other plans.

  • Mark

    Not the way I'd want my 15 minutes of fame to go down, each his own I guess.

  • Closet Nerd

    Those [cum]-trials gonna kill us, yall

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