"Like A Hot Knife Through Butter": SVANKi, A Wireless Heated Ice Cream Scoop

October 11, 2018

This is the somehow already funded Kickstarter campaign for SVANKi, a wireless heated ice cream scoop ($59 early bird special, $75 after *spit-takes rainbow sprinkles*). The wireless scoop charges on a wired base, and is good for 30 minutes of 140°F -150°F (60°C - 65°C) use on a charge. It comes in three finishes: white, black, and fake bamboo. Don't have the $60+ to blow on another kitchen gadget? I've got you: just leave the ice cream on the counter for five to ten minutes (or run your scoop under scalding water for a few seconds). That's what I do, and I'm a firm believer that the simplest solution is often the best one. "You tried electrifying your entire apartment floor to kill cockroaches." Come over, we'll play the floor is lava.

Keep going for the Kickstarter video while I invented a super-chilled fork that prevents pizza bites from melting the roof of your mouth.

Thanks to Coleen, who agrees astronauts don't have this problem with their ice cream.

  • ben

    yep we're fucked, finding even more pathetic stupid ways to waste planet resources

  • MustacheHam

    I'm lazy for a schoop and just stick with ice cream Popsicles, Klondike bars, and those plastic tubes of fruit juice.

  • Fartbutt

    Wow I would actually buy the pizza fork. Too many damn times have I not learned pizza patience. Sometimes, I even burn my mouth twice cuz I STILL dont know PIZZA PATIENCE

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    all this wireless stuff is great, i guess, but is it truly wireless if it all leaves us with a glut of device-specific, wired charging docks laying around?

  • Seth

    mine's unheated, but it's still wired

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    i'll heat YOU

  • lushkneebumbuild

    my grandfather had a heated icecream scoop, but it also had one of those flippy bits to make it drop neatly out

  • Douchy McDouche

    But can you also use it as a testicle warmer? Asking for a friend.

  • Bling Nye

    Yes, I use two, one for each ball.

  • Mark

    I just take my ice cream out of the freezer and let it sit for 5 minutes on the counter.
    Am I doing that wrong? :-D

  • Ollie Williams

    Didn't read the article, eh?

  • Mark

    sure I did.

    I'm sorry...was I supposed to offer an entirely new way to melt ice cream? or can I just agree with the writer?

  • Ollie Williams

    You can offer whatever you want. This time, it included an already used comment and you laughing at your own joke.

  • Corky McButterpants

    Coming next... Heated Pooper Scooper™ brought to you by Crapmi®
    Does anyone remember Ronco?

  • Wild Man of Wongo

    We've got an unheated wireless ice cream scoop that probably cost under $10 that works just fine. If your ice cream is so hard that you need to melt it to scoop it, try adjusting your freezer, maybe?

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    mine's unheated, but it's still wired

  • Ollie Williams

    We really are a species of complete and utter unnecessary waste. It makes me sad.

  • GeneralDisorder

    If the global economy depended on me we would have had a global collapse a long time ago and there'd mostly be cheap computer parts, knives, guns, and food on the market.

  • TheQiwiMan

    We really are a species of complete and utter ingenuity to the point where we make amazing things for even the tiniest annoyances. It makes me happy.

  • Ollie Williams

    Nice try, SVANKi marketing team.

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