Fallout 76 Green-Glowing Vault Boy LED Lamp

October 19, 2018


This is the $40 Official Fallout 76 Vault Boy LED Lamp available for preorder from Geekstore. The lamp is USB powered and shines green like a ghoul 'Glowing One' from the franchise. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it gives off that much light, so it's probably less suited for reading in bed and more suited for SETTING THE MOOD. "Setting the mood for what?" You know, some sexy bedroom-- "Please don't say ghoul roleplaying." Jesus, of course not. "Well?" I lied that's all I've got.

Keep going for one more shot of the lamp in its off position.


Thanks to Mark VM, who just uses a Nuka Cola Quantum as a nightlight like a normal post-apocalyptic survive.

  • Mr Coco

    too bad it gives you cancer.

  • Douchy McDouche

    If there's one thing Fallout taught me it's: if something glows it's radioactive so stay the fuck away.

  • Jenness

    But what if you want your kids to grow up with super powers so they can become evil geniuses before dying of a bizarre illness?

  • Gingerbread

    Just send them through the X-ray scanner at the airport then. Oops. Wrong article XD.

  • Jenness


  • Alisa C. Briggs

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  • Jenness

    I called Sally Beauty Holdings and they said you're a liar Alisa. LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!!

  • Tigerh8r

    You mean, "Every Parent's Dream?"

    [I just hope mine will move out one day, but they have it so darn good I can't imagine why they would want to.]

  • Jenness

    That's why you gotta prep them early. I consistently say things like "When you're 18 and finally an adult and out on your own, you're going to love being able to just go to bed whenever you want." and "Oh, when you're 18 and out on your own, you won't have to be forced to eat whatever I cook anymore - it's going to be great." When they are five or so it kind of goes over their heads- but trust me once middle school rolls around and you say "Great job on this test, when you are 18 and out on your own the ability to perform well under pressure at work is pretty important" then they start to really realize "she ain't kiddin' around"

  • Tigerh8r

    My 14 year old daughter (who, admittedly, is academically advanced) claims she wants to graduate HS early and go to college ASAP, and we probably won't see much of her after that.

    Then she asks me for food and when I say something like, "There's pizza downstairs, help yourself," she always responds with something like, "Why can't you just bring it to me? I don't want to get up."


  • Jenness

    "I forgot you are only 14" smiling and getting her pizza, smoothing her hair "I love you so much. It's going to be hard when you're gone and sick with another cold, unable to pay your heating / cooling bill and have to trudge out and get some cheap soup packets that you can make with hot tap water because your stove and microwave both stopped working at the same time. But that's what makes independent adults." *wistful look* "Mommy went through it too - toughens you up and gives you strength so you can be a strong, independent woman."

    "I mentioned that all funding ends when you turn 18 right? So...might want to start thinking about that weekend job my sugar plum. It's time."

    *leaves and closes the door saying "I'm so glad we still have a little less than 4 years still left before my baby flies the nest. You're going to do great!" benevolent smile *

  • Tigerh8r

    Mom's are so smart! I'm a dad so for me it's usually stuff like, "Don't make me punch you in the face," (get a blank stare in response because she knows theres a greater liklihood of being hit by a solid gold meteor) or, "When you get hungry enough I guess you'll do it," (get a blank stare in response because she knows either I will do it, her mom will do it, or she will trick her brother into doing it for her.)

    I admit we put up with things from her that her brothers never got away with, but she's the youngest, the only girl, and she takes all advanced classes and the lowest average she's had in any class for the last two years is 97%, and I think that was PE. She also hasn't hit the boy-crazy or want to hang out ll the time stages either, if she does hang out with girlfriends they are super-nerds also, so maybe she'll be able to afford a maid someday?

  • Jenness

    That would be the goal, I agree.

  • Megatron Jenkins

    You would be a terrifying parent, lmfao!!!

  • Jenness

    I kind of am - and I'll probably never know if it worked or not to help these amazing creatures I was blessed with helping them on their unique personal paths. I hope it gives them inner strength and a moral compass in the dark times. That's the one thing about kids - they aren't "yours". You just get the privilege to help them and like every parent - I do what I think is right and hope to God I don't fuck them up.

  • Megatron Jenkins

    I like being child-free. Not childLESS, child-FREE. Makes life easier for me not having any rugrats or child support payments to deal with.

  • Jenness

    Good for you. I think everyone should be honest with themselves and not have kids. It's hard work and if the rewards are not rewarding to you - then there is no reason to do it. Too many people check some invisible box when it comes to having kids - and they really, if they were honest, don't want to be parents and are just hoping that will change once the kid comes. I see it in every store and restaurant with whole families just zoned out on their damn phones - all checked out of their lives.

  • Megatron Jenkins

    Sadly, the case in so many places, now. The zombie apocalypse has started, but we depend on Likes, not Brains. I don't, as much. I don't use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media. Sure, I'm behind a bit and sometimes in the dark, but I'm also not enveloped in the toxicity that is the human race. Makes me long for an extinction event.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Being too smart can be detrimental to someone's success. If school is easy then she won't learn how to study or apply herself to things.

    And them when she gets challenged for real she'll just collapse.

    I suggest taking her boating then pushing her out near a remote island. She'll learn.

  • Tigerh8r

    Her mother and I discuss that very thing all the time. The first part, not the marooning part, although we do have a boat...

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