Take That!: Seal Slaps Kayaker Across Face With Octopus

September 26, 2018

This is a short video of a seal who's clearly tired of humans constantly polluting the oceans and decides to let us all know how it feels by popping out of the water off the shore of Kaikoura, New Zealand and slapping a kayaker in the face with an octopus. Obviously, it would have been even better if its tentacles sucked his sunglasses off, then a week later somebody filmed an octopus on the seafloor wearing sunglasses and selling drugs to young starfish.

Keep going for the whole video while I call Aquaman on his shellphone to see if he's taking responsibility for the attack. You know how he's always spouting that 'The seas will rise again!' rhetoric.

Thanks to Manbo, who agrees it's incredibly rude to refuse a seal's gift of the freshest sushi.

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