Because we don't already have enough modes of electric personal transportation taking up space in the back of peoples' closets/exploding and starting fires, this is the already heavily funded Indiegogo campaign for Segway's new $370 Drift W1 skates, electric skates you just stand on to zip around (you're not attached). The skates have a top speed of around 7.5MPH and 45 minutes of battery life. Of course if you're smart like me you'll just flamingo on a single skate and stretch that battery life to 1.5 hours for the pair. *tapping head* I'm a thinker. Unfortunately, despite heavy editing in their promotional video, you still see a lot of arm flailing from the models, leading me to believe these might not provide the most carefree ride. But I need to text and Drift! How else is everyone supposed to know I'm the biggest dog on this sidewalk? "Play your music as loud as possible and pee on everything you pass." Not a bad idea. "And wear a beer helmet for protection and so you never run out of juice." I have been for years.
Keep going for a couple videos while I listen for the sound of my future ankles breaking.
Thanks to Marco, who agrees it's jetpacks or bust.